8 ways to deal with your anger in the moment

ways to deal with your anger in the moment

We’ve talked a little bit about ways that you can deal with your anger, BEFORE your temper goes outta control and what you can do about that.

But this post is all about those famous moments after you’re angry and have lost control of your temper. A list of ways for you to deal with your anger in the moment!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I’ve become very aware lately at how bad my temper tantrums can be. It’s not a pretty sight! There is yelling, cursing, throwing, hitting stuff…it’s just not a good place to go 😱😳

A couple weeks ago, our fridge broke 🙁 and I spent nearly a week trying to fix it. You can probably imagine a few tempers flying considering I’ve never worked a fridge and I don’t know anyone else who has! I was on my own and trying this way and that way to fix it while watching my food get ruined. 

And do you know how well all those times that I got angry, helped me? 0.

Big fat nothing! I was only hurting myself and making my situation worse. I was able to fix the fridge and we didn’t really lose a lot of food, thankfully, but I was not happy with myself afterwards because I felt so bad about losing my temper that I decided right then to make a change. 

I don’t want to get angry and lose my temper all the time, especially when it DOES NOT HELP at all! I’ve never had a situation where getting super pissed off did anything. 

So how can we deal with our anger?

Well acknowledging that you’re angry is a big part of it.

Accepting this and then narrowing down why you’re angry. 

Don’t just shrug your shoulders and continue to be blindly angry. Get down to the problem. 

I say this because I tend to hold a lot of things in and deal with problems as they come. I just kind of put a bandaid on it and move on until the next little thing sets me off. And it’s like the straw that broke the camel’s back and I explode. 

After calming down, I can easly see that whatever little thing pissed me off wasn’t that big of a deal and I need to go deal with the actual problem like a fight with a loved one, mental health check, or being hungry. 

But once, you know what the heart of the problem is, you can tackle it so much better because some bouts of anger can be dealt with quickly and other times it takes healing which takes time. 

The next list of tools and tricks is designed for someone who is angry in the moment at something that can be resolved relatively simply. Like i said before, sometimes we’re angry, when we’re hurt and that’s a whole different set of skills that we can discuss in a different post! 

If you like this, you’ll LOVE these 👇👇

How to not be so angry anymore

8 essential tips to reset a bad day

How I learned to stop living in fear

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1. Laugh it off 

This has been my biggest game changer!! Shit happens! It will happen and no matter what you do sometimes you just walk in it. In those few moments, you have the choice to get pissed off, possibly ruin your good time or you can laugh it off and say okay we’ll deal with this and it’ll turn out just fine! 

I’ve been in that place where it seems like getting pissed off in the moment will help make everything better, but trust me, it is always better to laugh it off!

Laughing off the bad situation is way better than to get super angry and ruin your whole day, possibly more if you like to hit things…I’m in that club too, don’t feel bad!

2. Reset your breath

Seriously you guys this works!! Stopping for those 30 seconds to reset your breath is huge when it comes to the anxiety world and the world of anger. 

Here’s why I love it – 

You’re forced to focus solely on your breath which gives your emotions a chance to cool off and refocus to determine if your anger is justified.

Here is what Healthline also says deep breathing helps with:

  • Helps lower your heart rate
  • You’re getting oxygen back to your brain which helps you think better. 
  • Reduce stress
  • Improve exercise performance
  • Lowers chance of muscles deteriorating

Just to name a few and let you know that this isn’t pulled outta my ass. It’s legit!

3. Walk away

You know when something looks weird or just off on a project that you’ve been doing for forever but you just can’t see it so you grab a second opinion? 

Being angry is kind of like that. You’re too close to the project! You can’t see where all the pieces need to go because you can’t see everything anymore. This is a good time to just walk away and preferably get some fresh air since just 15 minutes can give you a mood boost! After you’ve had a chance to cool off, come back to the problem and things will look more clear. 

4. Work it out

Sometimes that pent up anger energy just won’t go away and taking it out on some exercise equipment is just good therapy!

Regular exercise can do wonders for your anger management issues. 

It’s a great place to get all of your frustrations out without injuring yourself or others. Plus regular exercise helps regulate your moods which helps keep those mood swings in check. Studies have shown that people who exercise regularly are happier and more stress free than those who don’t! And regular exercise keeps sleep patterns normal too so you can’t even blame those sleepless nights on your temper! 

Btw, regular exercise is exercising at least 3 times a week 😉 can’t count those 2 sessions a month and call it regular LOL 

5. Journal

This is an excellent tool when you’re needing to clear and gather your thoughts. Write down what’s going on in your brain! The great thing is that you don’t have to be pretty or fancy, you can just get it all out in the privacy of your paper or whatever. 

I love this tool for when I just can’t get my thoughts together in an effort to calm down. It usually only takes me a few minutes of brain-dumping any thoughts that come into my head and I don’t worry about if what I’m writing makes sense or grammatically correct, I just go to town!

I might not have all of the answers when I’m done but it’s way easier to deal with the problem when my head isn’t going from thought to thought at about 100 miles per hour. 

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6. Practice gratitude

And change your perspective! 

Back to my example, our fridge broke a few weeks ago like broken, broken. Everything was melting and going bad while i’m trying different things to get it to work! You can imagine how flipping annoyed I was for about a week. There were times when I definitely wanted to hit something or scream. 

During one meltdown, I decided to try to look at things positively because I simply couldn’t stand being upset by this damn fridge!

In this situation, I’m grateful that my mother had room in her freezer so that we didn’t lose as much food. 

I was also grateful that I figured out the problem, Amazon had my part to be in my hands the next day!

I was also grateful that if the fridge did completely crap out, that we had savings to afford a new one. (SO THANKFUL THAT WE DIDN’T HAVE TO THOUGH!)

But you see what I mean? By focusing on the positives of my negative situation, I was able to reign in my anger and change my thinking to see the good that outweighed the bad. 

7. Eat some food or drink some water

You heard of hangry? Need I say more?

Everything is way worse when we’re hungry! Our bodies are running on empty which translates to our patience running on empty and I mean, can we be blamed for what we said when we’re hungry? Yes, we can LOL which is why it’s important to take care of ourselves!

8. Give it to God

Maybe you’re angry and there is just no way to fix because you’re angry about shit outside of your control. So no matter how many tools, tricks, or actions you take there is still that anger. 

Perfect moment to just give it to God. I feel like it sounds complicated or like there’s some special ritual to it but that’s not true. 

When I say give it to God, I mean talk to him about it. ASK  him questions if you’re unsure why you feel so angry/out of control, or TELL him why you’re angry and just leave it at that, or to SEEK guidance to get rid of your anger. 

A lot of things didn’t start coming into perspective until I started to pray about it and just simply left it at that by telling God that this thing is going on in my life and I don’t know how to handle it. Saying help me God, I don’t know what to do anymore. 

I didn’t make it fancy or long winded but real and authentic. 

I think too many of us get caught up in the HOW to talk to God instead of just talking to God. 

Matthew 11:28-29 basically says come to me just as you are with whatever your problems are! No matter how big or small they may seem. 

JUST AS YOU ARE. Did ya hear that? JUST. AS. YOU. ARE. No fancy outfits, words, or whatever else you think is necessary. You are not too far gone. You don’t have to get it together before coming to God and you don’t need to be a theologian to have a relationship with God. Just approach him as you are now with ALL your problems and he will be there for you.  

Questions?? You can always email me! Find my contact info, here.

All the love, 

Teya

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